sadto
09/2/08
*
the part where you let go- hem
ex-girlfriend by: Rain Amantiad
^
you left me with three messages:
the first told me that i stood out with my stuffed toy
backpack, the second and the third was about you
stealing glances of me as i kicked fallen yellow bells
and you wanting to spend more time staring at my face.
i never deleted the first one,
i even read it on our first month together.
#
we were walking near a cathedral and you wanted to buy me
roses, i asked why,
you told me that our love is blooming beautiful
“roses die”, i said straight
and you blushed.
+
you left hieroglyphics on my skin,
i concealed it because i thought you might have left
alibata and glyphs on collars and necks of girls
and women you’d fallen in-love with.
once, i opened your idle notebook
and there i saw how you wrote about the softness
of my lips and the birth of awe as my hair
fell on my face and i blew them off with
tenderness.
/
you left me things to hold on to as priceless
possessions.
i wished you were enough to hold on to but maybe you weren’t.
=
you left me under my hood as i curled
a cup of coffee, talking to glass walls.
you came back for me and pulled me
into the car and cried as your drove.”tell me you love me,” you begged,and i shook my head, shook the rain
from my hair and watched the headlights
glisten through the water beading on
the windshield. like diamonds. like
a kaleidoscope gone all wrong.
^
you left me three more messages.
the first told me you still love me
and don’t understand what is going
on. the second said that if i couldn’t
give you any straight answers, you
would leave and let me go. the third asked me
if i still loved you.
~
we left days for each other, alone.
“hello”, maybe you saw my number flashed
on your mobile phone
“i passed by there today, the yellow bells are gone.”
=
i left you with my stuffed toy backpack
and i did not look back.
.
Previous Comments
“you left me things to hold on to as priceless
possessions.
i wished you were enough to hold on to but maybe you weren’t. ”
very striking. question: have you felt not enough at some points too?
i agree with the other comment. reading you is like opening an artwork under a cloth, hidden for years. im your fan, arabo. 
i agree with both roneiluke and blu. i come here, everyday, and find myself staring, thinking, sighing in amazement. and most times, i become speechless.
i’m breathing well now that you are back! =)
Posted by aileen at September 3, 2008, 6:22 am@blu: always but not anymore. thanks for asking.
@ron: i don’t know how to reply. haha. all i know is, you’re one of the few sensitive male bloggers i’ve ever read. malupit ako sa totoong buhay, isang mali lang, nanununggab ako 
@ Ai: *hugs* accdg to rain, full moon lang ato. ah no, if my world trembles, i hold on to inspirations. like you.
this is brilliant and super sad. you are amazing. seriously. my heart almost cried when i read this. sniff sniff.
Posted by coriander at September 3, 2008, 10:44 pmDamn I don’t wanna flood you with praises but this one is so klit-shy. So you. Your poems have the most painful stories I have ever read. I wonder how you make pain so wonderful. Magic!!!
Posted by maurya at September 4, 2008, 10:06 amAmazing. I die with these words tin.
A happy death to die with these words.
great!
Posted by didee at September 4, 2008, 3:19 pm@ coriander: coming from you, i am humbled. viva nostalgia no?
@ maurya: that makes me a klitty shy pseudo-masochist, eh? only dreamers feel the magic. 
@didee: kamusta na miga didz? *hugs* ah happy deaths are always welcome. wear na ta smiley na mourning pins karon!!!
you know… everytime i read your works, i cant help but be mesmerized. hays… im so speechless right now. the words exudes something that is beyond art. something beyond the literal. transcends human emotions. this was my favorite part:
“you told me that our love is blooming beautiful
“roses die”, i said straight
and you blushed..”
lupit mo!
Posted by roneiluke at September 2, 2008, 9:06 pm