palakpak

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 is there a point in your life that you wish to relive?

i woke up today wanting to pin time on the floor

and let it vomit the past.

under the drizzles, i watched my muddy toes,

both of you have been with me all throughout

two meters away, i could hear the cymbals

and i wore my face again.

“it’s a if you have wandered so far”

Michael was smiling at me, fixing the drumsticks

Leomarf was smiling at me, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm

Jeffrey was smiling at me, chewing to drought the gum in his mouth

Glen was smiling at me, impersonating the way I stomp my feet, singing.

i wanted to relive those days when all i had was my self,

full of wind vanes, full of dying morse codes

full of casualties riding bicycles.

but every time i sleep,

life sees to it that i wake up

with more reasons not to relive 

but to simply

LIVE.

and just kill with a needle and a laugh

all those hands

choking me on the neck,

i sat on the floor,

clapping my hands.

rolling my puruntong like a fisherman,

drooling over a screamo song i wish i wrote

when i was 17.

unwrapped a candy,

swallowed it whole as my throat welcomed

everything that is bitter

and my heart bathed in bile.

for everything you have told me. for everything you thought i was when you were all just 10.

salamat mga boylettes. 

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