Home » Post Item » lipat
lipat
12/22/08*
“it does not want you to feel that you mean nothing, it is just,
some things and people are not meant to be. to last”
from a conversation between the one who remembers a lot
and the other one who forgets the most, in a special manner.
being forgotten is like
being a boy once more, when you hear the sound of the airplane
and you thought that giants sleep that way.
it is a part of life that we all deny
like hiding scars, smearing creams on them
and fearing wounds not because of the pain
but because of the indelible scratches they leave.
being forgotten is wooden clips hidden in the kitchen
as the sound of the washing machine stirs your sadness,
it is like the fading laughter of children
when the world is asleep and Christmas lights speak of
something you cannot retell.
being forgotten are cribs in your old house, an e-mail you do not
want to read because it
might
hurt.
it chops your whole self, your heart on the sink
and you keep on asking:
“am I not worth it?”
being forgotten is like the best movies you failed to watch
like songs without vocals but lead you back to
the sea, the hills, the roof, the porch.
it is in my past life when i relocated to a town, shaved my head
and worked as a waitress.
it is rewatching all your video clips when nobody’s at home
and i am free to cry.
it is the way you sit on the floor after a party
and each person has left.
it is the flock of birds you see flying from the sky,
fading into small dots and you feel like
everything has the season to go away.
it is the last kiss, the last morning you woke up
and he was beside you, like a pretzel of tender hushes and a heartbeat.
it is the steps you take
back to the bus station when you just pretended
you are leaving but you are scared
that nobody is waiting at the other terminal.
and so you walk back,
unzip that bag, take out everything
your comb
your toothbrush
your comb
your clothes
except your heart
because at many points of our lives, we really forget some, halves.
we have to.
but then again,
why do we have to? when all the while, nobody really gets over
the shattering
we are all little people wanting to appear complete.
losing one piece, one fiber, one vein in the heart
is not making us less whole.
we all are forgotten in a corner of our lives
that is why
one day,
man
discovered photographs
and why i have been wondering
about
“i miss you”
miss which can actually mean lose
if one uses it the other way around.
*
Previous Comments
i give a sigh back for as always, reflecting my mundane thots. are you a clairvoyant? you seem to read my mind with ease. and yes, i am one young man wanting to appear complete. elsewhere, thanks for the ephemeral post regarding my poetic lines. appreciate it. meri xmas po tinay! 
@blu: i have been open for legal adoption. hehe. being forgottne, im trying to master that.
Posted by modernpatadyong at December 23, 2008, 9:52 am@lionel: my ordinariness made me hear the best stories. and it has made me fall in-love with life. well you don’t need to be whole, to be complete. stay in-love tunggak, i miss that feeling. malipayon nga paskwa!
Posted by modernpatadyong at December 23, 2008, 9:56 am
and it is like feeling alone in a place others call home and you read this poetry.
sis, I wish people here are like you. that way, i won’t be as empty as now.
this poem is so beautiful. it breaks me.
Posted by blu at December 22, 2008, 8:03 am