libayon

*

we were walking down Barotac Viejo, like autumn in glasses, like smell of ash, two of them were madly strumming, three of us singing out loud, not minding the heat of the sun. i have told them that i wish my two little brothers grow up with passion like theirs. 

i get to meet people who would never sell their music. that rocks. one minute you think of it, it really rocks.

this is tepoy. i met him outside my cousin’s jologs kapehan. the first things i have noticed:  piercing left side, upper chin & his sad eyes. his cousin told me he’s a musician and a visual artist. “but he’s messed up”. the sad eyes shook a bit, like summer dusts falling from the coming of June. I told him about Singgit and the impression that his brand of music is heavy. He nodded and gave me this very hesitant look. I gave up, a quarter. One evening, a number sent me this message “where are we going to teach kids tomorrow tin?”. The next day, my fellow kasinggits were glad to see Bacolod’s Underground madman jam with the kids. 

He is more than the growls and the lines of stories his face and hands express. tepoy has this struggle with departures.  I thank him for not carrying his family’s affluence everytime we all sit down under the trees and everytime other budding musikeros ask him how to fall in-love with the strings without having to buy some expensive guitars and gadgets. 

 coming across him is like seeing that bit of me i am holding on to. broken, detached, scratched…

but the music keeps playing like how strings break and own memories that only the fingertips can relish.

this is cosmic bro aninipot. everyone knows that he is one of my favorite human beings. hehe. i used to see him sing in hulog-hulog karaoke sa peryahan and their sitio programs. i have been a believer that one day, this boy would sing his own songs. i never imagined that he would, one day, sing my lyrics. we were having our rehearsals for December 22nd when i saw him sitting alone under the mahogany tree, cap almost hiding his entire face. for no reason, i waved and asked him to join us. Eureka. we needed a bassist, i handed him the guitar and he did not tell us it was his first time to play it. it was not obvious. we were all impressed and i was thrilled by the way he moved, he has this tatak of kicking his leg backward when he is trying to reach musical orgasm. “hey you have to be with us, stand near me please because your energy is damn contagious!”, i told him but he just smiled like a sheep and tangled his hair. 

i see a huge part of my self in him. he has so much love for those who are ignored and misjudged. he is one of the biggest dreamers i have ever met. (not that his dreams are enormous, but his faith is so deep, it breaks teritorries).

he closes his eyes when he sings, he opens his heart to every stranger as if cheating and taking advantage is not a part of this world. he does not fail to remind me that humility are for those who are grand and not those who chase grandeur.

he will sing my wedding and  grave song.

being surrounded by these young people keeps me moving forward. these toes are going to endlessly tap. and these fingertips will never die caressing celebrations being unfolded, blessings in the form of breaths at this point of my life when i have found out that all the love you give will come back to you in the form of the greatest friendships. and other ties that you can never fathom.

but, yes, they sound to you like tall grasses

in a field where birds fly and spread their wings…the widest.

.