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and so, it is like this: i stand tall holding a mug of tea, watching the sky as if i am seated in an old slow train bound for home. i could almost feel how the ground shivers, i could hear the tiptoeing cold, all those cello in an orchetra. standing alone feels so good this time of the year. it is as if you were born to wake-up and feel beautiful. it is as if your toes were molded from the elbows of God, your chin from his cheeks and your heart from the core of his soles. this time of the year, the morning does not seem lonely. no, this is not the time that you are about to stand in front of the mirror and feel your stomach with a kind of nausea. today, your tummy is perfect. and one day, you will stand and feel it moving. moving with life and with a dash of disco.
the walls do not feel like peeling paint. you bid goodbye to that feeling of “perhaps what we are searching is not here”. you find the deepest reasons why some people do not stay and leave all at the same time. you sing with the old mainstream song from the radio. you look for old teacups because you want to smell lips that have bit them (like loves you have kissed and lost). you tap your toes and feel “i am amazing.absoluuuuuteelyy”
the christmas tree looks like May. the balls looks like grab-able pieces of fate. i bite my lower lip, think of the days that have walked before me, moments that have made me cry over yellow flight tickets, afternoons that swept me outside barber shops, evenings that have commenced without memories and bookends - all grey and dusty.
i recollect them like shoeboxes and dried petals ‘tween unfinished pages. but this morning is home. and yes, sometimes, i write about you in this manner.
let us put it this way:
you do not have a name and you are most beautiful.
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oh yeah, totally about me!!
Posted by vin at December 4, 2009, 6:39 pmI always find beauty in everything uncertain…perhaps it’s because uncertainty is a huge wonderland where dreams are as tangible as sighs.
I have for years now chosen to keep the one I love most nameless…hidden to the prying eyes of the world. I am selfish like that.
And he is most assuredly beautiful and more than so.
Sometimes, though I forget that…and I have been reminded again, why. Thank you.
Posted by Dee at December 4, 2009, 8:50 pmok we are totally gonna chat now, k?
Posted by vin at December 5, 2009, 3:01 pm:)
Posted by vin at December 5, 2009, 8:24 pm
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she likes seashore naps and the view of everything from the bus window. she likes tiny moments and the small spaces between faces when people talk.
sometimes, she wakes up to that odd feeling of being a fallen leaf, an old tree, an azotea or a waitress somewhere-- talking to a taxicab driver about that random song on the radio.
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and this. a proof that:
how you see LIFE is how
you actually see YOUR self.
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maddening spurt:
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“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac-
ahay..tinay..du ng emote nmn aq..haha
Posted by intel at December 2, 2009, 7:30 pmtani upod ka sa cebu nxthursday..plzzzzzz