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You also get that feeling sometimes when you just want the world to have faith in humanity more. When deep down, all these theories that you have read when you were younger all collapse at the tips of your eyelashes and you say to yourself “i cannot rationalize things that matter the most” —sometimes you guess that such realization makes you feel more alive. You wonder why it has to be like that: people are busy moving forward while you take it slow, dreaming, reaching, dreaming, treading,waking up, yawning, reaching. then in other days, you just burn and explode.
So you dream of owning a hut with big windows. A view of the fields or the sea or both. You think of starting up something sustainable for the children or the community because you felt that giving them a bowl of arroz caldo is only good for 4 hours or even lesser. You build steps towards that dream. In some days, the worldliness grows stronger so you lazy around, download a movie, watch it, download the discography of Nina Simone, listen to it, sit, read news, get pissed off, read status updates, raise an eyebrow, fetch water and teach.
You get this feeling when all your efforts are useless. Why would you need to care when you have yourself and your younger siblings to look after for? Why settle for a bamboo hut when you can set an ambition of a bigger house and a funky car? Why would you care for other creatures when you are made to be the rational human being who can dance? Why are you so curious about the way of life that might work for you better when you earn OK and eat OK? Why do you tell your friends to ditch that overrated posh coffee because they pay the farmers fucking cheap (when they just need to give themselves a treat)? Why do you feel so bad about celebrities that show off their expensive bags ? Why do you complain too much about the irresponsible journalism, movie industry and brgy captain (and revolt in ways that you believe in)? Why do you cry inside when you see the lack of social responsibility? Why do you even waste time scribbling like this?
Then, at one point, a chance like meeting someone who has THE passion for life and THE tenderness for some not-so-cared-for living creatures around him makes you turn your back from all the doubts and just
dream, reach, dream, tread,wake up, yawn, reach.
then in other days, you just burn and explode.
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Mark frolicking with kids - Pula Playground Project
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good, I will bookmark this site
Posted by karen millen at December 23, 2011, 9:31 amAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
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she likes seashore naps and the view of everything from the bus window. she likes tiny moments and the small spaces between faces when people talk.
sometimes, she wakes up to that odd feeling of being a fallen leaf, an old tree, an azotea or a waitress somewhere-- talking to a taxicab driver about that random song on the radio.
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and this. a proof that:
how you see LIFE is how
you actually see YOUR self.
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maddening spurt:
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“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac-
I’m happy I found this article,its great!
Posted by karen millen dresses at December 23, 2011, 9:27 am