*
If airplanes were made
If boats were bound to sail
If birds born to fly
I will take it, I will try
To understand
To stop asking why
I may be too far,
But I won’t say goodbye
Chorus:
For today I have to set these toes off
To the sea, say farewell
Even if it hurts me, it may be better
It may be the best for now
I will take a photo of your smile
Tuck it into my pockets
But open my palms, let go of you
Like the best memories I never had
To understand
To stop asking why
I may be too far, but I won’t say goodbye
*
for intsik’s girlfriend, SHINE.
strums and vocals: him
lyrics, back-up and kubing: tinay
.
*
my favorite modern-day poetess
has long legs and green shoes
she has a long skirt with pyramids and egyptians on it.
she told me i remind her of Alice Walker.
Alice and me are both dark-skinned, if our souls
have the same color,
our hearts are somewhere not in our bodies.
*
i held the brown cup today
thinking of his beautiful face,
the way his eyes fall on mine
the way the rain falls on the sea.
it’s different from rainfall to the soil
when the raindrops
fall on the sea,
i know, there is such truth as infinity,
angels and seagulls
in mid-air.
*
the beauty of walking the earth
instead of taking the short-cut route
is that:
we choose to walk this land where
deaths are burried deep down.
beautiful deaths
trapped by navigations, wars, calamities, suicide
and
sleep.
*
my siblings are not smart,
they are happy.
*
if a woman pins a man on the sheets
cums above him,
arches her back and calls his name
and later on falls to his chest,
kisses him,
loves him outside motels
and inside his brokenness,
thank you uncondition and faith and orgasms.
*
i love the trees more not for their barks alone,
not for natural dyes, not for the tire swings loosely hanging,
not for the names carved with arrows
but for
those thin sheets of paper they have become
when humans wipe their tears
and their filth.
.
*
I was beautiful,
without you I am simply a girl with ugly skin,
plain eyes
and frozen fingertips.
.
*
H: it seems that there is no sorrow nor grudges in your eyes. though i know that you have been through a lot.
T: i just HOPE. i rarely EXPECT.
People.
I can never live with all the seas, the birds, the vast and the sea urchins without them. Music would be as destructive as noise if I no longer hear stomps of soles that have walked, barefooted beside me… near me. With so many faces and multi-faceted people, I could have given up on life, on love and on laughter.
but here I am, very hopeful. willing to live. willing to create more tiny hearts even if they are bound to be broken. always clumsy when it comes to laughing. to laugh crying.
Sometimes, I hold on to trees, bridges, sunsets and streams. because people hurt me. because people forsake me. because people tire me. because people forget about me when they do not need me. because people fold me and hide me in bags. because people toy me. because people steal me from sleep. because people want me. because people care more when i begin to go away.because people take me in as an element of mystery and romance. because people are people and they are busy finding their spots under this sun.
i have rolled some of them with oil papers, kept them from the sunrise and learned things the hard way.
i have stayed for some because i could never give up that easy on things and people i truly love.
i have slowly forgotten some after life helped me in forgiving them and forgiving my very self.
a few, makes me smile when i see the reflections of the clouds on after-rain maps.
a few, makes me clench my fist and set the past tension free because everything dies whether you kill them or not.
a few, strengthen my faith that setting free has so much in it that’s why life calls it “a form of real love”
a few, to hell i care.
a few, interesting…nice nice nice.
a few, i have slingshot to the sky with wishes of happiness, love and great sex life.
a few, seriously now, i have managed to co-exist with. some, i have relied on for existence.
and one or two, make or break everything that i have earned over the years.
.
*
them… captured by dearest intel
dear kakai,
Your manang Karen and I found your Filipino essay this afternoon. We were laughing, concealing the tears in our eyes.
Gusto kong maging guro para ang mga batang hindi nakakapag-aral ay tuturuan kong magbasa, magsulat at magbilang kahit walang perang ibabayad. Tuturuan ko sila kung paano maging masaya gaya ng ginagawa ng aking mga ate sa amin. Gusto kong maging guro dahil mahilig akong mangarap. Gusto ko silang kwentuhan kung paano mangarap. Magiging guro ako, magiging masaya ako.
I don’t know what your manang Karen felt but I really drowned. You made me feel like rereading my Grade III essay, “15 years from now, I am going to be a…”
You know kai, it’s you who teaches me to value children more. When I wander seeing kids everywhere, it leads me back to our humble door where I hear you laughing, styling your hair, asking me to teach you how to pronounce words, telling me about how a hen protects her chicks against the rain. It’s your dreams that I always pray to come true, in due time.
When I lose the real meaning of love and belongingness, I think of how we take care of each other in silence and my faith becomes more alive. We have never stopped you from going home with scars, we have never pressured you to go out of your childhood and live up to expectations because we believe that you are going to be at your own happiest.
It’s you that makes me look forward to my real home one day and not just mere big windows I used to build where I hang my own set of stars and a pair of night skies.
I love you.
Langga langga,
Nang Tin
*
^^
.
*
she likes seashore naps and the view of everything from the bus window. she likes tiny moments and the small spaces between faces when people talk.
sometimes, she wakes up to that odd feeling of being a fallen leaf, an old tree, an azotea or a waitress somewhere-- talking to a taxicab driver about that random song on the radio.
*
---
---
and this. a proof that:
how you see LIFE is how
you actually see YOUR self.
*
*
***
maddening spurt:
----------------------
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac-
